We don’t know exactly what we are doing here but we are we are taking a leap of faith.
We are just beginning our new journey of me staying home with the girls and it feels pretty good most of the time……then I see my bank account. I am trying to keep the faith that this was the right decision.
We knew this was going to be a lifestyle change and honestly I’m ok with that. I can totally handle shopping sales, garage sales, dirt cheap (I actually LOVE that place), but when the reality of not having money coming in hits me, it’s scary. When you add buying a house and waiting for a house to sell on top of that, it’s terrifying. But then I take a deep breath, and try to remember why we are doing this. We decided to do this….we made this decision together.
Something’s got to give.
In my last year of teaching, I felt like I gave everything I could to those kids and I felt like it wasn’t enough. I was burned out. With all of it. I felt like my personal kids weren’t getting near enough of my time and personally, I felt empty. I felt like something was missing from me and my life. It was frustrating and miserable and turning into such a negative person….and I knew that wasn’t me or who I am supposed to be.
The saying “Something’s got to give” kept replaying over and over in my mind. I was running myself ragged with FFA and trying to keep up with increasing demands in the classroom, which was leaving me with no time or energy to take care of myself or my family. Finally, I decided I wasn’t willing for my marriage or my relationship with my kids to be what finally “gave”.
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I kept feeling that I was being called to do more.
Like I have to potential to do really great things and I wasn’t doing them where I was. But it was so safe and comfortable to stay where I was. It’s scary to start all over, to let go of the comfort, to take that first step or first leap. We knew our jobs, our people, we were both making money, had a nice house, no real worries other than something was just missing.
How many of us just stay where we are because it’s comfortable? I just couldn’t any more.
So, here we are. Taking a leap of faith.
I am turning it over to God, taking that step, getting out of the boat! Most days I’m not sure what I’m being called to do yet. I am trying (and kinda failing some days) to be patient. Every morning, I pray that God uses me where I am to do the most good. If that’s through Down Home Decor and More, blogging, or something else, I’m open to it.
And, I feel like if I turn it over to Him then the money stuff will figure itself out and the house stuff will work itself out and I already feel like the important things, like my personal health and my relationship with my family, are falling back into place. I am letting go of the reins and turning it over to Him. I’m going to try to stop trying to figuring everything out and just have faith and trust Him. I’m putting myself out there: I started a business, I’m getting super personal in this blog, I’m giving it all I’ve got.
So I pray that if there is someone out there that is in the same boat that I was in, that this message finds them and that they can take that step and get out of the boat and start living out their faith.
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